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The Association of Divorce Financial Planners (ADFP) is registered with the National Association of State Boards of Accountancy (NASBA) as a sponsor of continuing professional education on the National Registry of CPE Sponsors. State boards of accountancy have final authority on the acceptance of individual courses for CPE credit. Complaints regarding registered sponsors may be addressed to the National Registry of CPE Sponsors, 150 Fourth Avenue North, Suite 700, Nashville, TN, 37219-2417. Web site: www.nasbatools.com.

Newsletter for January, 2012

Letter from the Editor-In-Chief

Great news- we have settled on a date for the 10th Annual ADFP Conference! Mark your calendars for September 20-22, 2012. We have been receiving multiple requests for sponsorships so you can expect a full house just as in years past. You'll be joining other top practitioners and industry leaders in an intensive three-day learning environment to help you move from theory to practice. Programs will be tailored to skill levels of all types- from new practitioners looking to provide best-in-breed divorce financial planning advice to seasoned professionals looking to sharpen their skills with other respected peers known throughout the industry.

Just as you've come to expect from past ADFP conferences, you'll find value both from our discounted early registration fees to the quality of our content. Remember, your practice evolves and your clients' evolve. The ADFP is there with you to explore best practices, setting industry standards and help set the pace for divorce financial planning.

Looking forward to meeting you personally September 20-22, 2012!

Andrew Samalin, CFP®
ADFP Newsletter


Divorce: You've Got to Know When to Fold 'Em

By: Ginita Wall

A bad marriage is like a game of cards. You start out with two hearts and a diamond - but end up wishing for a club and a spade. When those feelings surface, clients often decide to divorce.

No matter how much the spouses despise each other, they often equally despise spending money on a divorce battle. The key is to avoid letting uncertainty whip clients into an emotional tizzy: the more frenzied their emotions, the longer the proceedings and the more costly the divorce.

My job is to settle clients down, help them figure out how to divvy up the assets and debts so that each spouse emerges from divorce with a fair share of the pot that will let them begin anew. Here are five tips I use when working with clients to help them separate emotions from economics:

Don't let guilt rule you. "Please release me, let me go" goes the country song, but don't give up everything to buy your freedom. Your spouse will still be unhappy, and you'll be equally unhappy when you find yourself impoverished by your foolish gesture.

Don't make nice to get him or her back. Even if you hope your divorce will end in reconciliation, don't bend over backward to make it happen. Stand up for yourself and get your share. If you reconcile, that's fine, but if you don't, you'll still be able to take care of yourself financially.

Leave revenge at the door. Legally, it probably doesn't matter who did wrong. Revenge is costly, and a wild rampage is bound to turn out poorly. You might even end up paying your spouse's attorney fees.

Don't succumb to threats, or threaten your spouse. Money and power are emotionally linked, but you can't use money to control your spouse and get your way. Whatever you can't agree on will end up being split between your attorneys.

Focus on problem-solving, not fighting. Don't let meetings with your ex turn into posturing to show who's in control or how smart you are. Settling your divorce is the problem you must confront, and it won't get solved by fighting.


ADFP News:

Divorce Illinois
2012 1st Quarter Meeting
Friday, Feb. 3, 2012
8:30am - 12:00pm
Christ Church Oak Brook - Room 264
York Road & 31st Street
Oak Brook, IL
(Click here for map)

Carl Palatnik, Executive VP, ADFP - ADFP mission and vision, Q & A
Lydia Kamerlink, Family Law Attorney & Dr. Lesley Star, Forensic Psychiatrist - How to deal with High Conflict clients
Dr. Carroll Cradock, Collaborative Law Institute - Open dialogue about financial neutrals

Coffee, juice and a light breakfast are provided. We encourage you to attend and invite any colleagues who work in the Divorce Field
Registration online at www.DivorceIllinois.org
Please RSVP by Feb. 1st
Member : Cost $20
Non-member: Cost $25

2012 Board of Directors Elected

The 2012 ADFP Board of Directors was unanimously approved at our annual membership meeting held on January 19, 2012. The following people were re-elected to this year's Board:

Lili Vasileff, President
Carl Palatnik, Executive Vice President
Susan Moussi, Treasurer
Amy Whitlatch, VP Membership
Kevin Worthley, VP Education
Andy Samalin, Editor-in-Chief, ADFP News

At Large:
Dan Caine
Cinda Jones
Ken Neumann
Stephanie Maloney

New Board members include Jerry Cohen, who served as Conference Chair in 2011, is Co-Director of the California Chapter and also serves on the Professional Protocols and Standards Committee; Mike Bean, who will serve as VP Chapter Development and is also involved in the establishment of a Georgia chapter; and Bill Donaldson, who has given lectures at our annual conferences and ADFP webinars on Divorce Taxation and has otherwise been very active in ADFP for many years.

Congratulations and our heartfelt thanks to all!

Membership Renewals - A Friendly Reminder

Please send in your membership renewals if you have not already done so. Continue to support your profession and all the good work ADFP is doing. Take advantage as well of all of the personal benefits associated with ADFP membership. Thanks for your continued support. Click here to renew online.

Markel Cambridge Alliance
Investment Advisor Professional Liability Discount

Markel Cambridge Alliance writes professional liability policies for divorce financial consultants as well as registered investment advisors. They are offering ADFP members a 5% discount on their premiums.

Please Send All Submissions to:

For more information, visit: www.markelcambridge.com or contact Lisa Benneig at:
lbenneig@MarkelCorp.com (802) 864-1891 Ext 21319

Direct Reporting of CEUs to IDFA

We are delighted to inform you that IDFA will begin processing en masse CEUs for our mutual members who attend our annual conference. We will be reporting them to IDFA by name of attendee and number of credits, and they will process them directly instead of requiring each attendee to enter the information online themselves.

New York Association of Collaborative Professionals
March 1, 2, and 5th, 2012
Westchester County, New York

New York Association of Collaborative Professionals Presents "Basic Collaborative Practice Training: Developing Excellence in Interdisciplinary Team Practice" on March 1, 2, and 5th 2012 (registration 8:30 am) in Westchester County, NY. Register on line at : Basic Collaborative Practice Training. Registration fee $975. This Three-Day Intensive Training includes a complete introduction to interdisciplinary Collaborative Divorce theory, practice, and skills development as well as ethics and practice development considerations. You will learn how to work within a multidisciplinary team and how the Collaborative Divorce process integrates the roles and functions of all team members to best assist families in their process of restructuring. You will also learn how an interdisciplinary team deals with difficult clients by offering family members the legal, emotional and financial support they need during the divorce process. Attendees must have completed an approved basic Mediation training.

New York Association of Collaborative Professionals
LGBTQ Collaborative Professionals of NYC
February 2, 2012
New York City, New York

New York Association of Collaborative Professionals and, LGBTQ Collaborative Professionals of NYC Present "The Value of Collaborative Practice for LGBTQ Families and Relationships" on February 2, 2012 at the Scandinavia House, 58 Park Avenue, NYC from 8:30 am until 6:00 pm. Registration fee: $250 breakfast and lunch included. Reception following conference. For more information and to register go to The-Value-of-Collaborative-Practice-for-LGBTQ-Families-and-Relationships. This conference will focus on educating and enlightening participants of the needs, complexities and challenges that face the LGBTQ community and how the Collaborative model can address these issues. This training is particularly relevant as our understanding of "family" continues to expand and be redefined in light of recent legislation legalizing same sex marriage in New York. It promises to be a personal and in depth presentation. Interested professionals of all disciplines (with or without Collaborative experience) are invited to attend.

California Chapter Meeting

The next ADFP CA Chapter Meeting will be held January 28, 2012 and run from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. at the Castlewood Country Club - Clubhouse, 707 Country Club Circle, Pleasanton, CA 94566. (925) 846-2871. For the registration form with full details please click here.

The ADFP Is Now Social!

The Association of Divorce Financial Planners is now forming a presence on social media. We have a LinkedIn Account and a Facebook Page. We created these profiles as a part of our commitment to increase awareness of our industry and to increase referrals to our members.

In order to make these profiles successful we need to keep them interesting and engaging. Feel free to post interesting articles or blog posts that you have written that will help people going through divorce. Visit each site frequently to help guide people going through divorce (and potential clients!) understand how divorce financial planning can help them.

Before you can participate you need to join each community. Below you will find instructions.

NOTE: You must already be in Facebook and LinkedIn to join each group.

1. Go to www.LinkedIn.com
2. Sign in using your credentials.
3. Go to the search bar on the top, right-side of the screen. Click on the drop-down menu and select "Groups."
4. Then type "Association of Divorce Financial Planners" and you will see it in the list.
5. Select the group and look for the "Request to Join" link.

1. Go to www.Facebook.com
2. Sign in using your credentials.
3. In the search bar at the top of the screen, type "Association of Divorce Financial Planners."
4. Click on the word "Like" on the top of the screen. In Facebook you join the community by clicking "Like".

Both the Facebook and LinkedIn groups are open so feel free to invite other professionals and anyone else you think may benefit from the information we are sharing there.

Other Divorce News:

Guilt Helps Divorce Proceedings

When a Divorce Pays Off

Recent Breakups Show Importance of Prenuptial Agreements

Event Calendar

Save the Date!

10th Annual ADFP Conference

September 20-22, 2012

January-February 2012 Event Calendar:

Organization Week 1 Week 2 Week 3 Week 4
Association of Divorce Financial Planners (ADFP)   January 28 California Chapter Meeting February 2 NYACP The Value of Collaborative Practice for LGBTQ Families and Relationships New York, NY  
National Association of Personal Financial Advisors (NAPFA)     February 15-17 NAPFA Larger Firm Exchange Ft. Lauderdale, FL  
Financial Industry Regulatory Authority(FINRA)   January 26 District Compliance Meeting Boca Raton, FL February 15 District Compliance Meeting Los Angeles, CA February 22 District Compliance Meeting Kansas City, MO
Society of Financial Service Professionals   January 22-26 2012 Arizona Institute Phoenix, AZ
January 24 Make Your Practice Automatically Audit Ready Webinar
February 1 Leveraging LinkedIn - The Technology Goldmine Webinar February 15 Why and How to Separate Your Wealth From Your Business Webinar
American Bar Association (ABA January 18 Handling the Media in a Family Law Matter Webinar January 20-21 2012 Winter Council Meeting Orlando, FL February 15 Divorce & Tax Issues: Simple Answers to Complex Questions Webinar February 29 Initial Client Interviews in Family Matters Webinar
National Association of Estate Planners & Councils (NAEPC) January 19 Divorce, Taxation, Bankruptcy & Dying: Take Your Choice January 30 Estate Planning Mistakes Practitioners Make and How to Fix Them February 14 Estate Planning for Alternative Lifestyles  

Any questions? Comments? Please feel free to contact our Editor-In-Chief Andrew Samalin, CFP® Andrew.Samalin@SICounsel.com.